


always

by txilar



Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-02
Updated: 2011-12-02
Packaged: 2017-10-26 18:48:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/286679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/txilar/pseuds/txilar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by kinkmeme: "Ok so I'd like a fic where Iruka and Kakashi are actually having an affair- as in Iruka is actually going out with someone else but has always cheated on them with Kakashi."</p>
            </blockquote>





	always

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Infidelity

“Love is a game in which one always cheats.”  
-Honore de Balzac

 

“We have to stop doing this.”

Iruka sat down on the narrow mattress, sheets loose around his hips. He very nearly put his head in his hands.

“You have to stop doing this. I,” said Kakashi, with flourish, “am under no such obligation.”

Well, then Iruka did put his head in his hands. Kakashi was right.

“Obligations,” he bit out. “We both have obligations.”

“True.”

Iruka felt Kakashi shift and turned to look at him. Kakashi was stretched out on his back, eyes closed, arms bent behind his head. He was a picture of languid prurience.

Iruka swore last time was _the last time_. He was about to swear that _this_ was the last time. He was well aware he would say the same thing _next time_. So many last times. Was that why he couldn’t stop? If he planned their next encounter would it break the spell?

“Get out of here, sensei. I’ll see you next week.” Kakashi’s voice was smug. It was subtle, but definitely there.

:: :: ::

Next week never came.

Iruka made a point to ignore their regular meetings. He signed up for three extra shifts at the Mission’s Office, took on two private tutoring sessions, and planned a romantic dinner--not with Kakashi.

Two of his shifts got cancelled, one of the students turned out to be such a spectacular waste of time he couldn’t bear it after their third session, and his romantic dinner was... Well, it wasn’t a failure. They had dinner. And the setting was very romantic.

It’s just neither one of them was interested in romance, and try as Iruka might, neither was ever going to be. Eventually children would be necessary. He’d hoped they might at least like each other for that part, but he remembered that his own family was not the norm.

His mother and father had been promised to each other at a young age, that was true. But they grew up together with that knowledge, spent their childhood in the forest when they weren’t in school, then spent their young adulthood on missions together, and then...

Iruka wanted his children to grow up knowing that kind of love was possible too. As such, he was failing at every possible example. No love with his wife and nothing but lust with Kakashi. Not even that. Just sex. Fucking. Just a thing.

No, not even a thing.

:: :: ::

Three months of failed romantic dinners had left Iruka simmering. No one noticed a change. He yelled as much and threw just as many scrolls at wayward students’ heads. He told himself he was not giving in. He would not give in. There was nothing to give.

“Iruka.” Kakashi nodded once at Iruka’s approach. His singular gaze took Iruka in. Iruka didn’t want to know what he saw. Kakashi was like those fortune tellers in larger villages. One glance and he knew things no one should be able to tell just from looking.

‘Quick to anger, you like ramen, and you’d like to take me home and fuck me.’

Children had been within earshot that day. Besides, everyone in the village knew about Iruka’s temper. And who didn’t like ramen? The Copy-Nin was many things, but he wasn’t pyschic. Probably.

“Looking for something?” Kakashi asked indolently. He probably knew Iruka was reminiscing.

“I’m hot, hungry, and I’d like you to take me home and fuck me.”

That garnered him a smile. He could read the wrinkles around Kakashi’s eyes to know a smile from a frown or any other expression. That worried him a little, the easy understanding of Kakashi’s hidden expressions.

“You think I’m easy?”

Kakashi’s voice was sort of soft. Not quite a whisper, but low. Iruka looked around the small bar. Kakashi was nursing a small glass with clear liquid. He’d never known Kakashi to be much of a drinker. He wasn’t moving either, or getting his body ready to move. Kakashi was settled in quite comfortably, casual slump and all.

“No, I--”

“You think I’m a whim?”

Iruka sat down and signaled the bartender for a drink of his own. In the time it took the bartender to get the drink and move away, for Iruka to down the drink in a single movement, three swallows worth of liquid, and then for the bartender to return and refill the drink, Kakashi sat silently, spinning his own drink around in deceptively lazy and transparently precise circles.

“I don’t like sharing.”

Iruka had nothing to say to that. He had no idea if he liked sharing or not. Was he sharing Kakashi with someone? A number of someones? Would he share her with someone? Would he share her with Kakashi? He had no idea. To any of it.

“But I respect your choices.”

It shook Iruka, to think he meant something to Kakashi, when he tried, so adamantly, to insist that Kakashi meant nothing to him. To know that he meant something to Kakashi was frightening. Threatening somehow.

“Whatever you want, Iruka.”

Iruka looked up and met Kakashi’s gaze, his mask down. His mouth held a hint of a bitter twist and again Iruka thought of how well he understood Kakashi, how well he could read all these things that he’d ignored for so long.

“Just don’t use me.”

It was barely a whisper. The words and the movement. Kakashi tilted his drink back, sat the glass down with a striking sound, and was gone before Iruka could even formulate his response. He had another drink before he realised Kakashi didn’t want a response.

Iruka tried to convince himself it was a warning, a threat, but he realised a sudden truth. He wasn’t the vulnerable one. He had things to lose, little things, big things, but Kakashi had only one thing to lose.

Himself.


End file.
